Ken's Pointless Life

I am done with my junior year, and now it is summer. I need a job!

Terry is gone, and I miss him already.

I start my aramark catering job this morning at 10am, and after that I better find something else as a source of income...

Save for handing in my final photo 1 project on Wednesday and the film 2 screening tonight, I am done with my junior year in college.

I'M GOING TO SEE THE EAGLES LIVE IN BOSTON ON JULY 28th AND JULY 30th!

2 nights in a row!

I hear that Joe Walsh might be there!

there's a realtor that's driving me crazy.

Terry and I, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, are getting a new apartment next year with Brendan, Faith, Leigh, and Meg. We're moving out of Gerald. So, tons of realtors have been giving tours of our apartment.

There's this one guy - a flamboyant gay guy with huge earrings and a motorcycle - that is a utter juicebag.

He first pissed me off when he gave a tour here and saw the mousetraps in the kitchen. He got all pissed off at me and said that I shouldn't have those out while he's trying to sell the place. FUCK YOU, IT'S MY KITCHEN. THE MICE COME WITH THE APARTMENT. DEAL.

The next Saturday, I got another call from him. At 8am. He wanted to give a tour. I was already awake, but I said that my two roommates probably were not. After all, this is a Saturday. And it's 8am. And he yelled at me. What the fuck?

Then a few days ago, he came back with more people and it was more of the same. Mousetraps. Sleeping roommates. He didn't like that, and he yelled. I went out of my way to tell the people who were looking at the place how expensive the utilities are. He got pissed at that.

I don't owe this guy anything. I mean, this guy is hired by the landlord to find new renters. He should have no connection to me. I don't have to do anything for him.

Oh, and what's worse is that he's one of those gay guys who floats. He really floats. I want to stab him.

a short story that got lost in last week's Aunt Betty drama:

I was walking to my apartment from the T stop at around 8pm. I called up Brendan because...well...it had been a pretty awful day. My Aunt died. I think this was Wednesday.

I'm pretty big on my sidewalk etiquette - many of you know I'm writing a Spec script of Curb Your Enthusiasm about sidewalk etiquette - so I'm pretty sure that the bad guy in this story is NOT me.

Well, some guy was walking right next to me for an entire block, which of course made me feel a little uncomfortable. I slowed down so he could walk ahead of me, but he slowed down also so could stay right at my side. I sped up to walk in front of him and he sped up too. This guy was walking right next to me as I'm on the phone. His choice.

He speaks up at me: "YOU TALK ON THE PHONE TOO MUCH."

I turned and looked at him: "Mind your own business."

He smacks the phone out of my hand and my phone hits the street.

I sighed and bent down to pick up the phone. As I turn back up, I see him getting ready to punch me. So I get my phone and I run home. The end.

okay, so now that I've had some time to be emo and alone for the day, I feel a little bit better. Here follows a sad emo rant...so no one really has to read this, it's more just for me to get out.

Aunt Betty had been sick for a really long time. My mom had been doing everything she could to keep Aunt Betty from being depressed again, but really it was an impossible job. Aunt Betty wanted to die in her own home, but there were some complications with the home nurses and shift changes, and basically if she would have been at home, she would have died without a nurse present.

So my mom called for an ambulance and she was brought to a hospice. My mom was told that no matter what, Aunt Betty had at most another 48 hours to live, and there was no possible treatment. They only could provide morphine to make her more comfortable.

That's just about when I called my mom to tell her that my phone was breaking, but before I could say anything my mom said "Aunt Betty is dying." I've heard her say this many times over the past year, but she re-affirmed that this time was the real thing. I also heard it in her voice. It's so weird...hearing weakness in such a strong person's voice. I can't believe all my mom has done. I can guarantee anyone that my aunt would not have lived as long as she did without my mom.

This morning, my mom called me at around 9:50am and told me that Aunt Betty died.

On Friday, Aunt Fee and Uncle Ted are driving to Boston to pick me up (they now live in Sudbury, MA again) and we're driving down to Long Island for the funeral service.

I asked my mom where Aunt Betty is being buried, and I was surprised to hear that isn't being buried at all - she's being cremated. I don't know why...but that seems to really hurt whenever I think about that. Then my mom told me that she wants to be cremated also when she dies, and that's another thing I don't ever want to think of.

I remember when we buried my grandmother, Noni, Aunt Betty's mother, my dad's mother, I experienced one the most difficult moments ever in my life: at the cemetery when all the family had to throw in a shovel-full of dirt into her grave. I remember thinking about how Noni was my favorite person ever in the whole, and how I've lost people before and buried them and how she was always the one who'd make things better. I remember feeling like I couldn't lift the shovel - it felt too heavy. Noni died in October of 2002 and I still remember the awful sound of the dirt hitting her coffin in the ground - but I can't remember lifting the shovel up.

I haven't experienced any major deaths since...and I have a feeling that it's going to be the car ride this time that's going to be the hardest moment ever.

I really miss Aunt Betty right now. I can't imagine anyone more caring, loving, thoughtful, funny, adventurous, strong-willed, and opinionated. I really, really miss Aunt Betty.

-YFNK

aunt betty died this morning

I think I may have just secured the job of my dreams. I don't know how, but we'll see how it turns out. I may soon be going on tour with the Zambonis to videotape their crazy antics.

"Don't Wake Up" is about to be edited next week, the DeLeon concert already has two clips up on youtube:

Yodukha Rayonai:



Ochos Kandelikas:



And as I watch Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright kiss on TV, I'll end this entry.

To all my friends who have called me/IMed me/emailed me/facebooked me to say good luck, thank you. I apologize for not getting back to everyone, but this shoot has been incredibly consuming.

THURSDAY went pretty well - I was an extra in the first shot, the exteriors looked really nice in the alley. McGilicuddy was a pretty awesome homeless man. Jesse took over and became our lead actor with 2 days notice and nailed it. We blew a circuit, but worked around it. I wish I brought my video camera to begin my documentary, but stupidly I forgot about it.

FRIDAY was very stressful for the first half of the day - a certain someone who shall remain nameless fucked up on more than one occasion and didn't get food for my crew. I think the crew became upset with me, but I ended up saving the day and getting pizza (for the 2nd day in a row, which also didn't please them, although it's better than nothing). That same certain someone didn't find parking, so I was running around doing everything. The 2nd half of the shoot day was happier for me - I loosened up a bit and took some video and got some "Office"-style interviews for my mockumentary. We drenched Jesse in a crud-filled bathtub and our wonderful Emily withstood a bath of 100 degree water and cranberry/raspberry juice.

I did a bit of U-haul driving, making this the 2nd time I've ever driven in Boston. The U-Haul was so scary to drive - the alignment is so off that you have to have the steering wheel turned almost 90 degrees for it to go straight.

Ah, yes, the U-Haul.

Friday night ended with Faith, Deb, and myself stuck in the U-Haul. This truck, built in 1838, didn't start. The battery had died. And we had $25,000 worth of equipment in the trunk. AAA doesn't cover U-Hauls. U-Haul wouldn't give us a new truck. U-Haul was closed. And then it began to rain. We waited for 45 minutes for a tow truck to give us a jump start. But as soon as the tow truck came, the U-Haul magically worked. Our mood at that time = SHIT PISS FUCK CUNT COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER TITS.

I apologize for those words.

Meg and Brendan met us at a parking lot, and we unloaded everything to my apartment 2 blocks away.

Meg, Faith, and Deb - you guys are amazing for all that you did. Brendan - you're amazing anyway. And while I'm saying my thank you speeches, I LOVE MY CAST AND CREW. Seriously, with the exception of one person in particular, I can pretty much say that anyone I am working with for this film could easily be my best friend.

TODAY went really smoothly. We figured that a certain person wouldn't be able to get food, so I ended up buying $23 worth of breakfast for everyone at Dunkin Donuts. Then that person called me and said "uhhh, I can't get food." This person also decided to leave to go to work. Oh, right, I was called into work today too - but instead chose to work on the film that I am producing. Yeah.

I have to clean up my apartment because everything is a mess. I have a lot of work to do tonight. And Marshall just called me and said he's in Massachusetts. I hope I can see him tonight.

TOMORROW we film in the Omni Parker House's elevator from 2-6. We have incredibly limited time, but I have every bit of confidence in my crew. It will be so tough to complete an entire day of shooting in under 4 hours but we're going to. For sure.

MONDAY...I can skip film 2 because Deb and I have to return our dolly. This is now the 2nd time I have missed film class to work on my film.

And TUESDAY I have a buttload of homework to do. Remember how Martie Cook said not to leave my outline until Monday night? Well, I wonder if she considered this scenario...

As I finish up this entry, I will say that I ate a buffalo chicken hot pocket while typing and it tastes amazing. I have never seen this flavor before, and I may never see it again, so I'd like everyone to pause for a moment and contemplate its short - but pleasant - existence.

I cannot possibly begin to describe the amount of stress I have been through for the past week and a half. My co-producer is still an incredible tool.

Before today, I had been granted permission to film in 6 elevators for "Don't Wake Up" - SIX, 6, THAT MANY ELEVATORS! And then each one had been taken away from me.

But today, I got the most beautiful email ever. Kali Horton, I've never met you, but you're my best friend ever. Here's an email I was cc'd on:

Hi Team.

FYI. A student film crew from Emerson College will be in-house Sunday March 16th from 2pm-6pm. They will be using the lobby and the elevator closes to the bell stand. They will need that elevator to be stationary during their shoot. Engineering has been advised. There will be a range of 15-20 people on and off the site for the shoot.

On site contact will be Kenneth Parry - 516-316-6964.

Please contact me with any concerns or questions. Thank you!

Have a Great Day!

Kali Horton
E-Commerce & Marketing Manager
Omni Parker House

Oh man. I am the most amazing producer ever. I need to rest my brain. We start filming 1 week from today. Shit!

producing is hard work. especially when the other producer does nothing. and then complains how we give him nothing to do. and then when we give him an easy specific task he can't do it.

I'm producing a film 2. And I've never produced anything before. I don't like this situation.

I also just learned that Andrew has been inviting his friends over to play my guitars when I'm not around. This morning, for example, I got home and I noticed that my pedalboard had been rewired and the pickups on my Gretsch had been switched around. And Andrew was sitting right there on the couch, and when I asked him if anyone was playing it, he said "oh yeah, a bunch of my friends were jamming here last night." Did I not tell him when he moved in here that these are MY guitars? That they're MINE?? And that they belong to ME?

And then I went into my room and my scissors were gone and he said to go look for them on his desk.

I'm also not fond of all of his friends smoking pot right next to my guitars. I know drugs and guitars always have gone hand in hand, but my primary concern is that they sometimes open up the windows to let the smoke go outside, and it's fucking cold outside. Any expensive guitar is very sensitive to sudden temperature changes. Things like that cause the neck to warp, finish to come off, and bridge to move. These are things I don't want happening. Can someone tell Andrew's friends to smoke IN HIS ROOM, AWAY FROM MY GUITARS? Or does it have to be on my COUCH, watching my TV (which of course is always left on after they're done) and while eating MY FOOD?

Oh, and I've spent about 20 hours so far this week in the darkroom. It's a lot of hard work, but I am enjoying it quite a bit. It's great to listen to music and print photos.

And I'm learning the guitar solo at the end of Hotel California. Joe Walsh/Don Felder...it's a huge step from strummy Guster, but I've already got about 40 seconds of the end solo down after 20 minutes of work.

Alex tells me that Adam (of Guster) was asking about me on the S&D cruise. That's pretty awesome.

Messageboard friend Bev (oldernwiser) sent me a postcard from the cruise - autographed by Adam and Joe on the back, and with Ryan's signature on the front along with a drawing of a boat. That's a pretty sweet gift.

Willow can't go to the Fountains of Wayne concert on Friday, but I still have Mr. Jonny Cakes going with me. Friday morning I bus home, Friday night is the concert, and Saturday morning I bus back to Boston, and Sunday I'm back at work.

Shankbone Mystic (aka guitarist, keyboardist from the LeeVees, aka Dan Sacks) asked me to videotape his DeLeon concert on March 20th. Shawn just got his DVD and says he loves it.

So, I now have been asked to videotape shows by 3 members of the LeeVees...and to top it all off, a copy of my Yukon Kornelius DVD is being sent out to Adam tomorrow.

Okay, now that I've made a name for myself, maybe it's time I start to ask for money...

My happy phase ends today.

I need a 35mm SLR camera for my photo 1 class. I was under the impression that Emerson would lend us cameras. Funny how EVERY SINGLE STUDENT in our class thought the same thing. After all, Emerson lends us equipment that's worth upwards of $10,000 every weeks or so, why not a dinky little 35mm SLR camera?

Oh well, so I needed a camera. Stephen K is awesome because he lent me his camera for my first class. I need my own camera for Friday.

First thing to do was call up my mom, who has an old 35mm SLR that she could overnight to me. She did. But it's broken. I fixed it up. The battery was dead. I go around looking for batteries, but in fact not only is this battery discontinued, it's actually BANNED because it contains liquid mercury. Yes, this camera is old, folks. There's 2 days wasted.

So I'm now running around Boston looking for a 35mm SLR. I end up at Best Buy (I should have known not to walk into there looking for a non-digital camera). Here's what happened:

Me: Hi, I'm looking for a 35mm SLR.
Salesman: Oh, there's no need for that when we have digital cameras. I can help you find a nice digital one.
Me: No, I actually need a film camera.
Salesman: But digital cameras are so much better. Did you know that you can put your digital photographs onto your personal computer?
Me: I need a FILM camera. It's for a class. I need to develop the film and make prints of it.
Salesman: But with a digital camera you can send your digital photographs to all your friends and family through the email!

I walked out.

Then today, I cave in and decide to spend $250 on a new SLR at Ritz camera, the store that marks up the price way too much. But it's all I've got left.

I walk in, say I want to but a 35mm SLR. The lady says okay, doesn't understand what I mean, and asks another salesperson for help. Finally I get a camera that fits my needs. This saleslady then tries to teach me how to use it (maybe it's a camera store policy to help the customers by teaching them before they buy it - I don't know). The lady says "uhhh, it looks like you're missing your LCD screen on this camera, I wonder how that happened."

I don't care - yes she's an idiot - but at least I'll know how to use the camera. So I try to buy it. BUT THEIR FUCKING CREDIT CARD MACHINE WONT ACCEPT MY CARD. And she says that I shouldn't use my credit card to buy the camera anyway. WAS SHE EXPECTING ME TO DISH OUT $250 IN CASH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY?

FUCK! I NEED A 35MM SLR CAMERA BY TONIGHT. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO BE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT? IF SHE HAD A PENIS, I'D HOPE SHE'S GET STABBED IN IT.

this is one of those times that I wish everyone was as smart as me.

So Heath Ledger. Yeah.

Life for me, for some strange reason, is pretty great right now. I found myself thinking about how lucky I am, how I've got good things going for me, and how I have ideas for the future.

I don't know how long this happy feeling will last, but while it's here I've decided to embrace it.

Classes started yesterday. They're all pretty good - I wont comment yet on each class/teacher because it's too early on (and I won't have my fourth class until Monday) but so far it all looks good.

I'm really excited about doing something that involves video and music and concerts for my future, so I'm redesigning my Emerson website. Take a look at what I've got so far: http://pages.emerson.edu/students/k/kenneth_parry

Oh, and Shawn Fogel (of the LeeVees and Zambonis) did a solo show on the 20th at BU and invited me to videotape it for him. I got to use my real miniDV camera and tripod. I brought Alex along, and we both had tons of fun. Alex is heading off for the S&D cruise, along with a few of my other friends.

TO ALL MY S&D BUDDIES:
Have an amazing and safe vacation. Take pictures/videos/audio. Tell me stories. Dirty, awful stories. And tell Yonkman to get my Opera House tapes to me (even though he told me yesterday it's going to take him years and years to sort through the unlabeled tape pile that my 2 tapes fell into)

wow, life is really busy. And the good kind of busy. And school hasn't even started yet.

Basically, tons of people want my Yukon Kornelius videos - one guy from Vermont offered me money for some of my videos to be featured on his site, and that's pretty cool.

I start work at the cstore tomorrow, but it isn't open for business, I just get to restock the whole store with Betty. After work I get to head on over to Andover and hand off my concert DAT tapes to Dave M, which means this whole week I've been cramming to finish the 12 DVDs I promised him I'd make from his old rare Gus VHS videos.

On Saturday, Terry also returns to Gerald, and that's pretty great because I miss him.

Sunday I work normal hours at the cstore, and then I get to head on over to BU to videotape Shawn Fogel's concert with Alex.

Hopefully at some point I can also meet up with Mary Anna and get her those DVDs for the cruise folks.

And Brendan is here. I am on crack tonight. But totally in a good way.

Oh and I drank Tequila last night. Wow. It tastes like burning.

woot! Adam Gardner responded to my email!

If anyone has ever doubted me, let me clear things up: I am the shit. That is all.

Oh, and Jon is here. Pooping in my shower no doubt...

Yukon Kornelius - 1/09/08

First concert of '08, went up to VT with Mary Anna, Mary, Willow, Morgan, her friend whose name I forgot, and a bunch of other people...like someone named Nancy, and there's got to be others - I just can't think right now because I got home at 4am. And for those who know me, you know that after a concert I go into a frenzy mode of editing my audio and video. So I'm operating on very little sleep.

Guests of the night were Jason Biggs and Dee Snider, there was 1 Guster song and 1 BNL song, Stefan from DMB got his own Jam session, and the rest were covers (with the exception of the opening song).

Here are my videos, all came out really well:

1. Yukon Kornelius Theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uzWW5nQ9xM
2. Don't Fear the Reaper (w/ Jason Biggs): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz0Q8JMZmio
3: Low Rider (w/ Jason Biggs, Sax player from Pete Kilpatrick, Adam on crazy trumpet): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZfoGzKVXn4
4. Sympathy for the Devil: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWaU-pQQGOM
5. Psycho Killer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyA1O4D-sI4
6. Careless Whisper (w/ Sax player from Pete Kilpatrick, Ed on Drums, Drummer dude on Bass, Stefan on Keyboard): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_exoh7Dd3Lg
7. White Room: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uo4EsqJExU
8. Center of Attention (Ed tries to play Ryan's guitar part...heh): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYQO1-tRupo
9. Pinch Me (Adam tries to be a Lady...heh): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjHZG4Ygg_g
10. Lost in the Supermarket: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwNulFdC_DE
11. Stephan Jams on the Bass: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG8OlT2wXfA
12. Rockin the Free World: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epIKHqh4pU8
13. We're Not Gonna Take it (w/ Dee Snider, Jason Biggs, Adam and Ed going back to back while Dee and Stefan going back to back, and Dee ordering Ed to "drop and give him twenty" and then stepping on him): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52bOUaRccw8
14. Highway to Hell (w/ Dee Snider): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73TdtFv0CAY

I'm going to make full quality DVDs if anyone is interested - all I request is a blank DVD. And for those of you who I haven't seen since Earthfest, I also have DVDs of that concert, too.

Photo time:

Mary (we can photoshop your eyes open...), Ken, Willow, and Mary Anna all with Mr. A Gardner.


Ken, Willow, and Ed from Barenaked Ladies:


Mary and Stefan (bassist from Dave Matthews Band):


Oh, and Jon is supposed to come visit us here today. But he hasn't yet gotten on a bus. And it's almost 9pm. I ask: what the hell is wrong with emo kids?

Brendan and I went to Shaws and I bought $80 worth of crap food. This 2 week period of no school is going to be amazing.

2 weeks of misery in New York, and all I need is 1 week in Boston to make up for it. And practically none of my friends are here yet - except for Baho (who I already got a chance to hang out with), Conor (who I will hang ut with next Monday we said?), and Brendan.

Oh, and Tess, my RA from freshmen year in room 507 just moved into Brendan's apartment. I missed her a lot, she's pretty awesome. It's fun to make fun of her Wisconsin accent.

Gerald was left a mess, but I'm doing some heavy-duty cleaning. There were 5 mice living in the kitchen, but I think I have it under control now...if only certain roommates who aren't Terry would learn to throw out the trash during winter break!!!!

Okay, time to either consume more caffeine or take a nap.

Which one should I do?

9 huge concerts
3 amazing best friends
3 kickass internet friends
2 new guitars
1 new camera
a roadtrip to sayreville and a roadtrip to bridgeport
3 beards
2 big connections for my future profession
1 film
1 boyfriend

2 nights ago was pretty cool - LeeVees without Adam worked quite well. I got the show on tape, and I have to post up this video clip - everybody HAS TO watch the first 2 seconds of this, then you can stop if you want:



After the LeeVees went on, Willow had some banter with Dave Attell, and she let it slip that I'm gay. Dave Attell then shifted the spotlight to me...this could have been my worst nightmare 1 year ago (the entire venue was probably looking at me) but it turned out to be pretty funny. My DAT audio recorder was still running so I got audio of the whole thing too. After the show, he found me, shook my hand, and thanked me for being a good sport.

And now I sit at home on Christmas day, not wanting to do anything but play guitar...and I have to work today...and then again for 40 hours next week...in the movie theatre...but I have a new boss who seems like he's ultra competent and on top of things...we'll see.